We know you care. That’s why you signed up for this crazy thing called parenting. Let’s be clear though: you can love them AND not be their 24/7 problem solver. When you do, it’s kinda like sending your teen the message: “you can’t fix this, but I can.”
15-year old Isla takes it all home with, “When adults offer up a solution too quickly, it feels like they’re not really listening or understanding what I’m going through.” Catching our drift?
Our own anxiety gets in the way
Sometimes, even the lowest-level anxiety (to make things better) can close the door on making our teens feel safe to talk to us. We’ve all been there, done that. The goal isn’t to eliminate our emotions and urges to protect. It’s to be in a healthy relationship to it all. As in: check in with ourselves, ask how we’re feeling and build up the muscle to observe how our internal states affect our kids. Balancing how we show up for them while giving them space to work stuff out on their own (talking to you, growing pains).
A better and easier way is possible
“Our favorite is an expert-backed 5-step approach to building stronger and more open lines of communication. We have Dr. Dana Dorfman, MSW and Ph.D. in Clinical Social Work to thank for this awesome collaboration.
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